An Obsession

Fuck, Take it. Gotcha. Whip-Clip-Fuck.

Chalk dust settled and muddled in the blood pooling in the creases of my fingers. Glorious.  Fingers mummied in dingy medical tape, back burning, veins coursing, thumping in the same rhythm as the waves sloshing against the cliffs behind me.  Butterflies float in a flock passing me by.  Fuck butterflies.

I’m latched in the vertical pinching gripping crimping sloping -Where the FUCK is my next hold?

-Yah Girl! Take that route’s water!

A verbal replenishment assures and focuses.  Wait- Take that route’s water? What the hell does that even mean? -Nevermind. Focus Focus.

Dead air, Quiet sounds, and Dread Dread Dread. Primal instincts begin to fever my miserable weak brain.  Too High! Too High! Death Death! Gravity! Cracked Skull! Shattered Bones! Get Down! Get Down! Get Down!

My right ankle begins to shake.

-You got this Olive! Do you want beta?

No, no. No help, I will do this right. Nerves soothed again by warm voices echoing bouncing about the cliffs.  They’ll catch me, they’ll help me.

I look up and scan for flakes, crimps, side pulls- a hornet flies out of an inconspicuous crack a couple inches above my right eye. Yes!.. ah Jesus, I need to put my finger in a hornets nest.  Death! Gravity! Bee Stings! Don’t Die!

-Yah Girl!

Sigh. Fuck it. Lodge the finger in the nest, pull Pull PULL. FUCK!

clip clip

I exhale. I’m safe. I’m on top. Body flows full to the brim of all kinds of the crazy chems that make me feel happy fulfilled and hyper human. I look at the clips in front of me and shiver as the last wisp of primal instinct leaves me.  You are insane.

I smile huge and scream down to my companions-

This is INSANE!

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